On being 40
As I approach the dreaded age of forty I recall what one of my friends used to say - wrong side of 35, I feel certain amount of changes what are they???
Am I less fit than I was…? Not that I feel, people say that I was fitter at the age of twenty but now I proceed for my walks with renewed vigor than I did in those days, I go to gyms ( with knee pain) that I did not want to in those days I feel that I am fit. In fact, I am fitter than I was, because I am working hard for it and I appreciate the value of fitness which I took for granted.
Am I less loved than I was???? Not at all in fact have I felt that the people who love me have grown by leap and bounds.
Am I uglier?? May be ….now hair fall is more but then I am rich enough to buy good treatment in parlours and though I look out for wrinkles I can afford face packs which I did not have time for at the end of my second decade. My son recently told me that I was the most beautiful of all the mums even if I was fatJ.
In what way then, have I changed? I am in a position which is more respected than I was when I was twenty. I am a mother, a wife, an established career woman.
The power that I command in the domestic front now is formidable. I take decisions about our journeys, about clothes that I can wear and buy, not just for my self but also for my family. When we decide to go out some where even if I do feel tired I have to make an effort to go as my children want me there, my husband and also my mother in law feel out of sorts when I am not around. We entertain in a social circle which I want assembled, when I want to go out my family does too.
In fact from breakfast to dinner, from innerwear to sophisticated clothes my family depends upon me. This brings me renewed confidence for my day to day life. Which is reflected in my behaviour as a career woman. As I am happy and successful as a home maker I bring that confidence in my work and in my surroundings.
There is another freedom which the younger me never knew about. I am free to walk on the streets without greedy eyes gawking at me. I can do as I please without being the center of attraction of a crowd. This invisibility brings about certain amount of freedom. A few days back my husband had forgotten the tiffin in the house and I had gone to the main gate to return him his tiffin, and I was riding the cycle, I am amazed that no one bothered to give me the looks. In fact no one noticed.
I remember about four years back when I tried the same thing people said many things about decency and what middle class women should not do. But then that was another time and another decade, now I am free to ride the bike when I want to and not ride when I do not want to. Aah.. What it is to be free from these strings
There is another feeling that all my to be forty sisters should be happy about. Okay tell me what were your traumas when you were twenty???
All those questions are settled now and hopefully, the first is established and many are successful in that front. One is at a very comfortable relation with the second. The third in the list are well above their blood sucking cute days and now are pride of the eyes by their activities without us having to worry about them all the time, In other words darlings we are free form all the hassles that have had us moaning with back pain and stress ful days. Do you miss them. I am happy without those days. We can now enjoy kids and play with them without bothering about huggies / nappy rash. We can give sermons to other younger ones, about the ways they should use what bais they…. Because you see now we are armed with experience which comes with age and practice
So girls ready get set and go reach that forty something with a smile and cheer.
Karishma, Juhi, Kajol and the ooh so gorgeous Shilpa I am coming to join the bandwagon of the roaring fortys with pizzazz and cheers