Parenting teenagers

Parenting teenagers

Life is very stressful for the parents of students who are now in class 12th because the parents are running from pillar to post about college admissions and other academic related sessions for the kids all the time. This is good old India where larents still contribute.

There are forms to be filled...

 and some of these need our contribution.

Kids are to be taken to venues of their choice all the time.

 The examinations are at in appropriate times as thebachedule is from the mprning 9 to 4 or 2 to 5.

There are no provisions for the poor parents to stay.. we parents form a great bonding at the time of the wait period. We discuss coaching. ... coaches among other things also and there are the stories related to the success or failure of other examples that we have seen.... in all probability these failures will be more successful than out own kids. .... but still no harm in discussing.

A few days back on the way back from Bhopal I saw a very familiar face and for the life of me I could not recall where I had seen the chap... that is when I recalled him as parent 1 ( let us call him parent 1 becaise truthfully I do not know his name myself) but we caught the threads of information as if we had never stopped... and tgat we were very familiar with with each other.

Also we finally saw the kids, for whom we have sweated it out test after test after test

The cute critters had no idea that we knewnso much about them the boy who I met was most uncomfortable let me tell you but thankfully my daughter waa much more smarter than the chap...

On the way back at dodi mp tourism outlet my daughter suddenly had a shreiking bonanza with another girl.. for a minute I thought that stress had finally won when she ran up to introduce her friend who was doing a dummy (kids here do then dummy after 10th grade... basically do a proper coaching and not attend a school.The school is called a dummy because even after not attending classes for many days and only preparing for the entrance they get full attendance.) This is mandatory for cbse norms and it is amazing how people find a way out all the time. The girl was a fast friend in class 10 but had joined "NON ATTENDING"

This sunday I had accompanied my daughter to med exam IPUCET in Bhopal  which was held in KV 1 Bhopal

There were many parents come prepared for the ordeal. .. some protested and the "authorities" told the parents to shut up... the only days authorities like peons chaprasis e.t.c. are able to show their stuff on the inferior class of parents and shine through all years of excellent service that they provide.

The parents rested and guess where none other than the consumer's court Sunday being a holiday it was closed

 You can see the parents waiting some of whom are busy chatting with each other catching up with this and that thread.

I waited under the scantily clad trees of the building "costumer redressal. Consumer forum" ( please see attached pic).

Then I came back to the taxi. (After repeated fights about time out on electronic stuff... the tab.. my daughter's and phone (mine) we have both put passwords on each other's electronic stuff.. so that we cannot use the other's electronic item).

And there are very nice shows on her tab I had to call up my son back home and ask about the password.

The thrifty boy gave it to me but only after a promise of extended ps2 time. Watched 2 episodes of ..Castle.

Now I am waiting to find out about her exam and explain the reduced battery charge which she will surely discover on the way nack to indore

The year end games that are played

The year end games that are played

As another academic session comes to an end we are blessed with another plethora of games that the parents play to ensure that their ward gets admission in the school yet for another year. I have been teaching in various schools for about 15 years and the games never ends ... the players change but the games never end. CBSE does not allow the failure of any child till he/she is in class 8^th.

My class is blessed with children of all the 9 types of intelligence that child psychologists say that people have. There are singers, there are dancers there are great cricket players and then we should not forget the artists who decorate our classes during class decorations

 

But sadly our education system has very less to do with these kids who are so able- y endowed with various forms of intelligence in their own fields.

There is a child called E in my class who is a medical case of epilepsy as a result he used to be always groggy and sleepy in his classes in previous classes but this year has seen him blossom into a fighting, running child.  Basically he is now competing with his peer group on a one to one basis and very successfully too.

There is another child, S who wins many prizes in cricket his picture was now recently on all over the banners in the city but he is unable to sit in a place for a  long period of time.... the counsellor of our school has asked me to tell his parents to get a medical opinion of a child as he may be suffering from attention deficit disorder syndrome but the parents absolutely refuse to take any medical counselling .... They believe he will get better as he grows up as he will get smarter with age... but at 14 he still has problem sitting at one place ....Gets joy in teasing his friends.

Especially E .... for instance with great difficulty when E manages to take out all his book note book he finds his D from the compass box missing but naturally S has it with him. Once when I came to the class to face a furious maths teacher complaining about his maths book missing and E nearly in tears... I gave a meaning ful look at S and he went to the class cupboard and got it out himself ( where he had put it previously to bug E)

The one child whose parents give me the ijeebeejees is a boy called P, his dad is a official child abuser and teachers from the previous classes have told me that under no circumstance must I call the father to school for the child’s incomplete works because he will be beaten very badly... well I had to call him during the result giving day and he was so angry with my P....... P hates social studies and does not want to go through it at all...as a result an E grade and his father was SOOOOOOO angry.

He came back later that day saying he wanted to meet the principal and that he has already broken a tennis racquet... I tell you I can’t look at his straight in the eyes from that time onwards...and I left a note with my principal who is very smart dealing with such parents and had dealt with him very firmly and ably.

P has a very flexible body and can play very good basket ball but I wish I could do something for my kids who for me are like the kurkure punchline – “ teda hai par mera hai”

I have met sub inspectors who come to school very rarely, other people like E parents who are doctors but pressured with the fact that they have a special needs child and have never forgiven each other for the same as a result they are consistently fighting still they sport affection for their child. Parents of S love their child even though they try to scold him i front of me but he has a look of a chld coming from a loving home... It is only P who bothers him I want to love him and asked his mother when was the last time she or he had hugged P so that his breath would leave his body... they gave me a blank look. His dad has told me that P’s grandfather has send him only in undies in the cold howling wind in the early morning .... how can you say I am a child abuser. I hardly abuse this boy as a result look at his marks.

Does it mean that my P will become a father of the same type????

Today I saw him in the mess and though he is in class 9^th I gripped his arms and squeezed very hard he turned back expecting another friend but then after seeing me gave me such a warm smile, that my heart melted. What will happen to my child....Sometimes these thought give me pain.

The greatest Adventure called life

Students giving presentation for formative assessment

please note the boy in middle prompting

this picture of the Go Green club was in the News papers 

next  day well fame and fortune  here I come

With the lovlies og my class 2013 8B in a group called " the best class ever

The great adventure called Life 

I would like to echo the  words of a song in the movie Mausam...." dil dhoondta hai phir wohi phursat ke raat din".  Recently because of studies of my kids the  books, that we have enjoyed at leisure are all in the trunk...and because we are shifting the stuff here and there... I came across the Enid Blyton books the "five find outers and the dog."

Boy did I have a ball reading them again....

then there are other things in life like sitting in the sun eating peanuts and finally when all was done searching for any stray peanuts that might have been left in the shells with my sister and mother. I thank God for making my life so eventful and powerful, I cant say that you did not give me this or that because all in all God has given me all things that a person may crave for....

What nice things I have done in life. My graduation... in a hostel YWCA where i have enjoyed an all nighter studying the courses of my BSC, 

M. Sc in Chidambaram where I left my 10 month old daughter with my parents for the first year

my Mphil for which I did daily commuting from Mathura to Agra and in the course of journey experienced so many thrills..... I once sat on the steps of the train and reached my destination... MST compartment where in I have sang songs with the fellow MST travelers....

My journey to states, was so eventful largely due to the planning done by my sister and Brother in law

The coca cola factory in Atlanta with my sister

... that each day was a joy in itself

the train that could with the girl who can in USA

My new year happening events is DSOI, 

In Surankot a lesser known place in Kashmir unaccessible place for normal people now but then was fun and joy for us.

 kukku's illness., 

My training by idiscoveri, 

My stint at vdjs and dps, 

Bapi's illness, 

My wedding......

I  want to thank God for making my life so happening and eventful. Each and every year, and day, there are so many events that have made me richer by the second. 

If they were punishing they have made me stronger......

if pleasant they have been enriching. 

With each day and moment I feel I become better and better.

How ever the thirst for adventure does not die it emerges more strong and powerful with each new adventure. ... 

Am I greedy to ask for more???

 I think not. I did not wet my feet on the banks of the sea shore but went deep in  the ocean to enjoy things which others were not privileged to enjoy.  It is not wrong for me to search for the pearl....... is it??

On that philosophical note let me end.

Of in laws and outlaws

Of in laws and outlaws..........

There is no doubt that a woman who is working with two kids has need for help on managing the life of her kids..... bit one should always be careful what one wishes for ..... Whoi knows God might just say -" so be it" and grant that wish.      

That is exactly whay has happened with me I havr great chemistry with my mother in law. ... but my kids do not share the same time chemistrt... tere are fights.... fits from both sides.  When I was young I would pray for a time that my inlaws will stay with me because my parents would refuse...saying that they cannot stay in a daughter house..and in India there is no help available for working women. ..your kids are at the mercy  of horrible people especially small towns... and then I did my Msc and MPhil one after the other..... and then worked with my daughter going to the same school...

Such an ideal life for 3 years.. but they had their share of stress and strain... kids got ill sometimes threw temper tantrums.. by the time she was in her 6th class my father in law passed away and then my moyher in law came to stay with us. My son was also born. My father was suffering for dipolar disorder before he died and they would come to stay with us for short peeiod of times for his medical attention..after which he died.... amd then we were stuck to her or vice versa I do not know but we had a tough time.. because the kids were not ready to listen to their granny and the granny was also always angry with them.  Why is it that they who are bonded by blood are always at each others throats. They are good if yiu see them alone but when paired it is a terrible. Combination it is a team work two kids against the granny... and it is a rare case let me tell you because generally it is opposite it is parents paired against the team of granny and the kids.

It is basically her trying to instill good behavious in them which theu do not want to comprehend... the lifenpf the mother is at peril then....
Well life goes on enjoy the pickles with main course.

27th February 2015

It is surprising to know that in Purulia people still  need a fan because we are still having a fleece bed sheet and mink blankets. Kukku's blanket is a heavy duty mink blanket and he sleeps with banyan and shorts.

What gift for Valentine day. Will the kids like it? I want to give a gift to my kids too.... but I am afraid a ritual will start which I have to maintain for ever. Already we have a ritual of ..

1.Partha's tour. A nonveg feast day..
2. End of exams ... Pizza from Dominoes
3. Partha's long tour nonveg feast plus Dominoes
4. Study for 1 and half hour .. One hour computer time
6. Goles trip here.. A trip to char  dukan in Mussorie for breakfast.
7. Birthdays. ..
7. Anniversary....

Have u ever been to char dukan here in Mussorie? There we usually see students ( foreign) from nearby schools plus there are stray dogs which are huskies... they look hot and cute... and are super friendly.Then there are breakfast of instantly made egg in bun... waffle... pancakes ...and other Western  delights. Even Sachin ...of the cricket fame... goes there when he comes to stay over at his friends house in

Yesterday I had gone to the a school  for  interview and I am happy to say I told myself many times that I should be humble there was a electrician who became very pally with me. He gave me the following informations.

1. He is a businessman electrician because though he has a thriving business which his brother can look after he is here only because  it means a regular pay.

2. He told me the addresses of many houses he has electrified and also told me the rates 10 Rs per square feet ..which means a house covering 1500 Sq feet will be electrified in 15000 Rs. This also includes cable wires telephone wires. When I told him our house was 30 years old he told we should change the cables because now better and newer cables have come up which saved electricity and when I told him the house was in Hdwar he stopped selling himself and proceeded on friendship lines.

3. They will give him 11000 in hand and will keep 1000 as sequirity each month.

4. I asked him ways to go back because the DPS is very out of the way he said he would be happy to give me a lift ....ON HIS BIKE... I nipped his dream on the bud saying husband does not like it. But he was a simple guy and very talkative.

The interview was good.  I remembered to be humble and simple. I remembered to say " I have to change when my husband gets transferred and as a result I cannot expect a lot (salary) whatever they deem fit they can give me I joined DPS on 14000. They gave me full salary only after 1 year." He said their teachers get a lot more than 27000.

Which meant the interviewer had gone through my cv thoroughly even though he pretended to read it in front of me. I also did not know the name of Tulsi plant and did not crush him with remarks like.. "when we teach I will learn the fact". I said simply right now I can't remember but I will recall after some time. 
He was also a novice at techno savy ness. Because he typed painstakingly on his smart phone teachers when I entered.. He must have typed "questions for teachers "  because he read from it and asked me the questions.

However the question "how do you know Gunmeet Bindra" proved to be fatal. I started praising her and said she is one of the smartest woman I know also she was founder principal of DPS Jullandhar  and now she is principal of welham boys.  (He was the founder principal of DPS Doon and older than her. Also she has bigger balls than many male principals I know. ) I stopped after I saw his face he said the same thing Sach deva sir had said... "she is an  ambitious woman." Do successful women face same things in your workplace where twits think you are aggressively ambitious when they don't have 10% of your charm and charisma.

At the end he said we will call you at another time where you will be interviewed by a panel of people and subject experts. It was a good interview. In which neither of us belittled each other.

While going back I asked the sequirity guard how can I go to the city..He said many vans will come you can go in one of them in fact he went and arranged it for me. The van guy dropped me at Asley hall and talked all the way he was a young guy and did not like people overtaking him. Though he said he did not want any money I have home 100 Rs. The in Ashley Hall I took an auto after asking a police constable what are the rates. She stopped an auto and told him to take me home for 60. The auto guy asked for 80 on which she replied. " Le gaon tujhe sasural Teri auto ke saath 80 Rs mein" . He was a young guy and did not protest much. But while riding he started whining about inflation and price rise so I gave hin 80 on reaching home.

I thought of the people who had helped me without any swarth. ...
1. Electrician helped me to pass time
2. Sequirity guard
3. Van driver
4. Police constable. .

I hope and pay to God to give them a good life for being so nice for which they got nothing.

Partha had a retailers meet in Haridwar for which Tiwari had come here. It started raining the previous evening and Partha had a sleepless night as the venue for 1200 retailers was in Crystal world water park open air. But all was well. In accordance to ritual no 1 I bought chicken and a national masala from Pakistan which was enough for 1 kg Chicken curry for today morning.

Life of a teacher 30/07/13

Grrrrrrrrr. I see red e everywhere and the resonance tonnes and tonnes of correction work and still those copies remain to fill.with red colour.

Kids have done badly and who is to be blamed . . The teacher
Well the battle is still  on. Woke up at four to complete the backlog and Stillll . . .

Science Balya vigyan is  knocking on the door and that has to be supervised as well. There is the spl   assembly of janamashtami coming up and we have to prepare for that as well.

Of students...... And more fun

A few daus back our schoo l celebrated tenth birthday.....Naturally all of the school rejoiced.

There was a special assembly wherein a few older tea hers were never called on stage and were asked to recall special moments. There were a plethora of activities

An ibus  drive for class eighth . Indore has a new toy in town called tge bus which covers the AB road and this was travelled by tge students of classes eighth.

There were a special nukkad  natak in which I had helped write upthe script. It was about tge effects of the pollution caused due to vehicles . . And tge reasons why Indore should adopt the I bus.

Being the Go green club in charge we planted a few saplings. . It was a pleasant experience. There were a variety of kids. . Right from pre nursery to class X th
There were twelve saplings altogether. We have planted them where the students were complaining of tge excessive heat of.the sun during the summer months. The event was enjoyed by many students of primary and primary wing.. All in all it was a joyous occasion.